Sonically, this sounds good, David! I liked this quite a lot; it's busy, but there's lots with which to engage the ear. I think I've mentioned this before, but perhaps a greater attention to 'articulation' profiles (secco, marcato, sforzando, etc) could make the music 'pop' more. Articulation provides the phrasing that makes a melody sound like a human sentence. Especially with this type of music - short, specific and detached articulation could benefit. A tidy ending to boot!
I like this one. Busy, and not boring. I do like those small momets when a smooth phrase suddenly breaks up the busy rhythm briefly. Tension and release feels good in music. I can't really offer any improvement advice, mostly just wanted to say I like it. Thanks for sharing your compositions.
Oh I love the intro! Dramatic! .... this is growing to be a very enjoyable, adventurous journey! I'm playing a variety of theatrees in my mind! Great job!